Ma and Pa's Blog

While Larry & I were shopping at The Evil Retail Empire Walmart yesterday, I mentioned an article I’d read that stated  the toilet paper most Americans use in a year is worse for the environment than driving a Hummer.   Americans are toilet paper hogs, y’all: we use like 3 times as much TP as our European and Asian brethren.    Do we use the loo more often?  Sport dryer tushies?  I dunno.  Plus, we insist on planet-polluting, soft, fluffy stuff.  Not cool.   The article  listed the eco-friendly brands (the only one of which I recalled was Trader Joe’s) and the planet-ravaging brands (the only one of which I remembered was my fave, Charmin).  And toilet paper was on our shopping  list.  Because dry tushies are a priority around here.

Well, all Larry had to hear was “…worse than driving a Hummer”.  If there’s one thing that gets his liberal heart a-bleeding, it’s seeing a big honkin’ Hummer (ALWAYS with only one person inside–what’s up with that?) driving along the street or taking up two parking places.  He reasoned that if  the fluffy, foo-foo stuff was a no-no, then HIS fave, Scott’s, should be the solution.  (Some of you may recall Larry’s Scott Toilet Paper Philosophy: “When you use Scott’s, you KNOW you’ve been wiped”).  So into the cart goes a king-sized pack of  Scotts.

When we got home, I checked the article.  Damned if Scott’s isn’t  just as bad as my Charmin!  So I figure that third-world toilet paper is the way the environmentalists want us to go.  But if scratchy-butt Scott’s is too decadent, the other stuff must leave splinters.  This ecology stuff hurts.

Ten or so inches of snow has fallen in the last 36 hours. We’ve had worse, and this time we had a lot of company.  Ohio north of Columbus pretty much all got equal treatment. We seem to be in the clear now precipitation-wise. Next comes the deep freeze.  By Thurs, we should be around 0-degrees.

PS — We watched “Sweeney Todd” on DVD the other night.   Way too graphic.   The gore overshadowed the fine sets, music, and acting making the experience an overwhelming downer.

Prompted by popular demand, I resolve to stop correcting grammatical and spelling errors on the blogs of family and friends, no matter how egregious the transgression or when the misstep makes my eyes bleed and baby Jesus cry.

You’re welcome, everyone.

Long have we lamented the lack of heat in the guest bedroom–Larry tried fiddling with the heating ducts and scratching his head, to no avail.  The door is usually kept closed to keep Cali out, but when it’s opened, the chill just rushes out and grabs you–it’s like a room from The Amityville Horror.  All we could do for guests was keep flannel sheets on the bed and have plenty of blankets available.  Until today.  I’d stripped the bed after our Christmas guests, and while Larry was making the bed this afternoon he noticed the window at the head of the bed was open at least an inch at the top.   And, baby, it’s been plenty cold around here lately.  Anyhoo, future guests won’t feel like they’re sleeping in a 19th century tuberculosis ward–and I’ll check the latch a little more carefully if I ever wash the windows again.

My bad.

I found Monty Python Online linked from the Monty Python Channel on Youtube.   These are a couple of great sites to waste time while lifting your spirits.

Today’s mail included an item addressed to me from the state Department of Aging!!! I guess I’m officially OLD . . . and now I have the Golden Buckeye Card to prove it!

I think I’ll go back to the place I used to get my haircut (when I had a little hair left) and flash my new card. They had offered me a discount about ten (maybe fifteen) years ago if I had a Golden Buckeye Card. I was thoroughly offended.

Today, I’d have no basis to complain . . . argh.

I can’t wait to see what other mailing lists I end up on, now.

We bought a natural-gas heater for the patio room but Larry was reluctant to run the gas line himself, so he called a plumber.  A very wise move, but at $98 to walk in the door, and $50 each half-hour, Larry wanted to do everything in his power to make sure everything went smoothly:  he cleared  out the garage (where the new pipe would be run to the patio) and cleared the way in the basement.   He was determined to keep the cost around $200;  he just didn’t count on the custom-made structure of the house.  The plumber had to drill, fiddle, check and drill for AN HOUR to get thru to the garage.  One. Hour.  One. Hundred. Dollars.  One inch hole.  Will keep you posted on the progress; Larry and his new best friend are still working.  $300 and counting.  I’m sure a picture will follow~~and we can look forward to a  warm and snuggly Thanksgiving dinner this year.

UPDATE:

Well, it’s installed, it looks good, and we look forward to using the patio when the weather turns really chilly.  And how much did it cost?  You CANNOT put a price on comfort, people.  Our family and friends mean everything to us and their comfort is of paramount importance.  Plus, we believe in keeping the economy booming and we have done our part to help turn this recession on its head.  You can expect to see A LOT more of the patio this winter.  I’m just sayin’.   C’mon over and experience the warmth!

given:

a=b

therefore:

a^2 = b^2

substituting:

a*b = b^2  — because a*b is same as a^2

new equation:

a^2 – b^2 = a^2 – a*b  — because a*b is same as b^2

factoring:

(a+b)*(a-b)=a*(a-b)

dividing by (a-b):

a+b=a

substituting:

a+a=a  — because a is same as b

or:

2*a=a

dividing by a:

2=1              ?????  !!!!!!

WHY?

OK: So we were outside, reveling in the balmy 60+ weather, slowly easing into some of the spring cleanup of the flower beds–we hafta get the old muscles used to yard work–and some random woman walks by and tells us to watch out–another snow storm is coming. Now, she looks sort of marginal, so we smile, and obligingly groan at the thought of more snow, and exchange wishes for a good day, and continue on with our task as she continues on her own journey. And we laugh, because snow was not on the radar according to our sainted local weatherman, Dick Goddard. Well, damned if the evening news didn’t predict snow on Sunday.  Two thoughts came immediately to mind: 1) I am SO bored with cold and snow and  2)Does our walking woman listen to a more accurate forecaster–or is she a seer?

For anyone who cares, here’s verbose comment from a former TechTV geek on why to chose OLPC (while it’s available).